There seems to be a few trends in Movie Theaters that I just can’t escape, so I wanted to make a little list while they’re all fresh in my head.
- Horribly disfigured people – Every theater seems to have one, I’m guessing its a union thing. Not knocking our modern day Quasimodos, but it seems that the theater/disfigurement ratio is way out of whack. A study may be called for.
Old Eastern European women who mistake my son for a girl – This is actually OK, since my son typically mistakes old Eastern European women for men.
Ticket kiosks – That don’t work. Maybe the greatest invention out of Hollywood since the NC-17 rating and the damn things never work. I guess they were taking work away from Eastern European women with unusually high testosterone levels.
Up-selling with a smile – The line “you can have a large for 25 cents more.” should be banned. Uttering those words with a smile on your face should get you the death penalty. I’m perfectly capable of deciding just how much diabetes juice I need.
Ads – Tons and tons of ads. Is anyone really buying Kid Rock war anthem ringtones at the movies? Another potential death penalty category.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Horribly difigured hunchback to Horribly disfigured hunchback: “Is it just me, or is there a disproportionate number of smarmy, anorexic guys with gender-ambiguous children at movie theaters these days?”
You know you rock out to that 3 Doors Down song for The National Guard.
Get’s me pumped before seeing Bride Wars!
as soon as Ken becomes computer savvy, I’m going to have him read this .